What do you do when you wake up one morning and suddenly your world is rocked? When you have such a horrible and wonderful day all in one? And in the days that follow it gets better and worse at the same time? You come closer to those you love but feel yourself edging closer and closer to that thing called depression? And what do you do when an emotion mostly unknown to you surfaces? How do you get past the anger? How do you forgive and move past the hurt and the bad feelings?
I don't know the answer but I do know what is getting me through these first few hard days. The love of my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and amazing family and friends, including my husband and 5 beautiful children. Also my desire not to sink and to not give into the blanket of depression I feel slowly creeping up over me. I make myself get out of bed. I make myself pray and I pour my heart out to my Heavenly Father. I read my scriptures and I read uplifting articles from my church leaders. By doing these most basic of things (even when I don't want to) I find answers to my prayers and the strength I need just to get through the day.
Articles like this one https://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/05/how-to-obtain-revelation-and-inspiration-for-your-personal-life?lang=eng
I'll quote a little of it here:
"Truth, consistently lived, opens the door to inspiration to know what to do and, where needed, to have personal capacities enhance by divine power...an individual's capacity to conquer difficulty, doubt, and seemingly insurmountable challenges is strengthened by the Lord in time of need.
"And ye are to be taught from on high. [Keep my commandments] and ye shall be endowed with power, that ye may give even as I have spoken."
One who is obedient to His commandments is trusted of the Lord. That individual has access to His inspiration to know what to do and, as needed, the divine power to do it.
There are some practical principles that enhance revelation. First, yielding to emotions such as anger or hurt or defensiveness will drive away the Holy Ghost. Those emotions must be eliminated, or our chance for receiving revelation is slight.
The more closely you follow divine guidance, the greater will be your happiness here and for eternity-moreover, the more abundant your progress and capacity to serve...that guidance in your life does not take away your agency.
Our Heavenly Father did not put us on earth to fail but to succeed gloriously."
I truly believe these things. I am happier when I follow the commandments and live truth consistently. I am better able to serve others and in serving others I am able to feel true joy. It doesn't mean that life won't be hard at times. It doesn't mean that I am not at the mercy of other people's agency. That gives me trials and opportunities for growth. This is what I am in the midst of. But I will push forward everyday. I will get out of bed. I will serve others, starting in my own home. Specifically in my own home. This is what brings me joy and helps me carry on. By praying and asking for help and studying the words of scripture from current prophets and leaders and those of old I am working through the anger and being able to forgive and love unconditionally.
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